7 Tips on How to Break Up with an Abusive Spouse

 

Living under one roof with an abusive person is beyond all bearing yet life-threatening, especially when it is physical and emotional abuse we are talking here about. It is never that easy to put an end to domestic violence; moreover, sometimes, it is even impossible. If your mate constantly tries to manipulate you, controls your access to your money, tracks your both online and physical activity, threatens you, etc., it is just the time to think about breaking up with this toxic individual. However, your every attempt to end this mess may trigger even more abuse. So, if you have married an abuser, you have to consider a few factors before you use a divorce apply online service.

With no doubt, being in an unhealthy and abusive relationship takes a heavy toll on your physical and mental wellbeing. Thereby, there is no time to spare. Even though you have to make a fresh start as soon as possible, there are a few steps that you should take first for the sake of your own interest, and they are the following:

1. Open your own bank account 

If your couple shares a joint bank account, it is just the time to think about your financial stability and open your own bank account. If you work and receive a salary or get a household allowance from your spouse, do your best to put away some money in your savings account on a regular basis so that you have enough to cover the divorce-related costs in the nearest future.

2. Decide on where you will go

Given the fact that your decision to start looking for the best online divorce service to end your relationship on paper can trigger even more violence, you should think in advance where you will live after you tell your spouse that you want to get a divorce. Depending on whether or not you are victimized financially, you may not have enough money to rent an apartment any time soon. So, don’t hesitate to ask your friends or relatives if they could lodge you for a while.

If you don’t feel like dragging anybody into your family problems, then looking for a homeless shelter or cheap motel unit sounds like a plan! After all, if you plan on staying with your friend, keep in mind that this is the first place your partner will drop in on. 

3. Make sure your smartphone is spyware free

Keep in mind that you cannot leave an abusive marriage successfully as long as your spouse controls your every step. If your partner can track all your locations and access your emails, you may be in danger. In this case, seek help from a mobile expert who will check your device for any unwanted software and hardware and reconfigure or remove them easily.

4. Make a note of every incident of abuse

If you are going to leave an abusive marriage, don’t neglect to keep a record of all incidents of violence. After you tell your spouse about your intention, the level of abuse is likely to increase. The detailed records of all abuse incidents will help you protect yourself during the divorce proceedings, especially when custody and alimony disputes are brought. 

Save all insulting messages you get from your spouse and take photos of all bruises and scratches. Write down all the dates, times, and circumstances by which the acts of abuse took place. Make sure your spouse cannot discover what you do; otherwise, you put your health at risk.

5. Try talk therapy or join a support group

Just like you will seek help filling out divorce forms, you will need it coping with your feelings and emotions. You can either try counseling or join a support group, where you will be helped both to recover from emotional trauma caused by domestic abuse and to get through the dark days of divorce more easily. Even though you cannot afford expensive therapy, you can benefit from free counseling provided on the basis of many homeless shelters, clinics, and universities. 

6. Change your life for better

When people become abused, they unintentionally isolate themselves from the whole world. Even though this is what your abusive partner wants from you, you should do your best to change your life for better. For this, socialize more, look for new hobbies, join hobby clubs, add more exercise to your daily routine, etc. This is how you can reduce your spouse’s control over you and make new friends. So and in no other way, you can regain your self-belief. If you decide to end your marriage while still being unprepared for this step emotionally, you take the risk of returning to your ex-spouse only because you will feel helpless and lonely without him or her. 

7. Save emergency contacts on your mobile

To feel safe whatever the circumstances, be sure that you have a few emergency contacts always at hand. Save them on your device or write them down on a small piece of paper and have it sewn into your purse. This is how you can call your friend, family member, or whoever during another burst of domestic violence at home.